In a post shared on Reddit’s TrueOffMyChest subforum, user icantdealwithallthis wrote: “My boyfriend has just told me that he’s a diagnosed sociopath 2 years into our relationship while I’m 20 weeks pregnant with our twin boys.”
She said: “He waited until I was pregnant to share this with me…I don’t know why he didn’t tell me.”
“Sociopathy has research into it being genetic so what if he’s passed that to our sons. I’m so scared,” the user said, adding: “I’m so upset and I don’t know if I want to spend the rest of my life with him anymore. I don’t want to give up my babies but then I don’t want them raised by a sociopath.”
What Is a Sociopath?
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), a sociopath is a term formerly used to describe an individual with an antisocial personality disorder. Antisocial personality disorder is described as “the presence of a chronic and pervasive disposition to disregard and violate the rights of others,” the scientific and professional body of psychologists in the U.S. says.
“The disorder has been known by various names, including dyssocial personality, psychopathic personality, and sociopathic personality. It is among the most heavily researched of the personality disorders and the most difficult to treat,” the APA notes.
Manifestations of an antisocial personality disorder can include the following, according to the APA:
Repeated violations of the lawExploitation of othersDeceitfulnessImpulsivityAggressivenessReckless disregard for the safety of self and othersIrresponsibility, accompanied by a lack of guilt, remorse, and empathy
Is There a Sociopath Gene That Can Be Inherited?
Speaking to Newsweek, psychiatrist Dr. Sandip Buch, the founder of the online psychiatric practice Skypiatrist, explained: “Any genetic link to sociopathy is tenuous at best, and certainly does not lead directly to any personality disorder in the child.
“Sociopaths most often have some trauma/neglect in their childhoods. There is no real evidence to suggest that—knowing the father has sociopathy—that one reasonably has to worry that their child would develop that in the future. There is nothing this woman needs to do differently outside of raising her child lovingly,” he added.
A February 2010 study published in the peer-reviewed journal Behavioral and Brain Sciences stated that although genes, as well as serotonin (a neurotransmitter that’s believed to regulate your mood) and testosterone (the primary male sex hormone), contribute to sociopathy, “the relationships are probably indirect and subject to modifiers (e.g., present only under certain conditions of rearing and temperament).”
The study added: “The age at menarche [the start of menstruation] may be a marker variable as well as a causal factor. Since the genders differ in all four areas, sex differences in sociopathy represent a very complex interaction of these factors.”
A 1993 study published in the peer-reviewed Journal of Psychopathology and Behavioral Assessment found that many types of personality disorders, including “antisocial personality disorder/criminality are also influenced genetically.”
The study noted: “The genetic transmission of normal personality traits and disorder is most easily explained by the contribution of multiple genes of small effect rather than by single-gene inheritance.”
The pregnant woman in the latest Reddit post said her boyfriend has done “some questionable things before and has a criminal past from things he did from teen to early 20s but I thought he’d gotten better and was over that stage in his life.”
In a later comment, she shared: “He’s committed assault and spent 3 months for that and he’s also (without being caught) committed arson, dealt drugs, did cocaine when he was 16 and was an addict for years, was a bully at school, was expelled from his school for fighting, owned a gun, gotten into fights where he’s been stabbed and laughed when talking about it, laughed when talking about how he broke someone’s leg and a bunch of other things but those are what came to mind. I’m guessing he must have gotten diagnosed in prison.”
‘She Knew He Had a Shady Past’
The latest post sparked debate on Reddit, with some users saying “the writing was pretty much on the wall,” stating that the boyfriend had already shown signs of sociopathy through the behaviors he allegedly displayed in the past.
Responding to the user’s note saying “I don’t know why he didn’t tell me,” user Jekker5 wrote: “Probably because he’s a sociopath…,” in a comment that got 25,100 upvotes.
In a comment that got 10,000 upvotes, user ZombieZookeeper said: “The fact that he waited until she couldn’t end the pregnancy kind of supports this.”
ItsMrShenanigans wrote: “…so you didn’t know he was a sociopath until recently… but when did you find out about the long list of sociopathic behavior from his past that you also listed? If you’ve known about that for a while… the writing was pretty much on the wall.”
Stacys_pink_world agreed, saying: “Exactly, she knew he had a shady past with a criminal record and still stayed and [is] having kids with him?…After everything he did?? She put herself in this situation…”
Some users were more diplomatic. In a comment that got 3,300 upvotes, user Ok-Regular4845 said: “Biggest issue isn’t the sociopath part, it’s the waiting until you are [20 weeks pregnant] to tell you. On that note, sociopathy isn’t a death sentence and your babies should be fine HOWEVER you need to get a professional opinion on your situation, and possibly couples counseling IF you do continue your relationship.”
User ClappedOutLlama said: “Surprised he told her TBH [to be honest]. A lot of them don’t. To play devil’s advocate, the guy was self-aware enough to seek help and get a diagnosis…now that the reality of being a dad set in he may have thought it was worth making her aware because with that awareness comes accountability…either way, it sucks for both of them, and if mom keeps it that kid is going to be born into a toxic mess.”
Newsweek has contacted the user for comment.
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