Also, this anxiety may not be limited to physical contact or closeness. Your becoming emotionally closer to her may also trigger heightened anxiety, especially if her abuser was someone close to her. Note: Like most other possible signs of abuse listed in this section, anxiety can crop up suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere. This may mean there is ongoing sexual abuse happening, or it can be a symptom of prior abuse that may have happened many years ago. There’s no way of knowing for sure based just on the appearance of abuse signals.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is very common in survivors of sexual abuse.
A clear change in sleep patterns (such as when she goes to bed or wakes up). Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep. Tiredness even when she seemingly gets a full night’s sleep. Changes in sleep preferences (like light levels, temperature, etc. ) Difficulty sleeping alone or, alternatively, with someone else.
This can occur because she feels somehow “dirty” or “ruined” by what happened to her, even though she was the blameless victim.
Persistent sadness. Lack of energy. Withdrawal from social activities. Feelings of emptiness. Feeling “down” often or all the time.
Adults who were sexually abused as children or teens are 4-5 times more likely to abuse drugs or alcohol. But the pattern of substance abuse can begin well before adulthood.
If your girlfriend starts talking about suicide—whether or not she seems serious or has made any type of attempt—take it very seriously. Urge her to get crisis help by texting or calling 988 or 911 (in the U. S. ).
“I’ve noticed some things recently that have made me concerned about your wellbeing. If and when you’d ever like to talk about this, please know that I’m here to listen. And if you feel like this is a situation where you need additional help, whether that’s therapy or something else, I’ll do whatever I can to help you find the support you need. ”
“I’m so sorry that you had to experience something so awful, and I can only imagine how difficult that was for you to talk about. I want you to know that I believe you, I believe in you, and I will support you in any way you need me to. ”
Check out, for example, the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network at https://rainn. org/.
Talk to her about your feelings. Let her know if you’re feeling helpless, or clueless, or overwhelmed, or angry. Don’t feel guilty about setting aside time so you can do things you enjoy, alone or with friends. Make healthy diet, exercise, sleep, and lifestyle choices to support your mental and physical wellbeing. Consider talking to a therapist yourself to help process your feelings and challenges.
Stabilization. During this phase, your girlfriend will work to recover feelings of safety and stability that were upended by the abuse. Mourning. During this phase, your girlfriend will work to more directly process the trauma that was inflicted upon her by her abuser. Reconnection. During this phase, your girlfriend will begin the process of redefining her life and relationships beyond her trauma.
